'When I grow up, I wanna be famous'

I was watching the small children of Brighton Hill Community College saunter in with attitude through the gates today from my usual 8.20am bus and wondered whether it was just the new generation, or whether we were like that? Where have the normal children gone?! From what I saw, the school uniform has been replaced with leather jacket, tight skirts, large handbags, staggeringly high heels and blackberry phones! I mean, come on. When I was at school I didn’t even know what jimmy choos were, never mind wearing them to my 9am science lesson! Ok, so I may be exaggerating a smidge, but my point is that I don’t remember anyone when I was my age being so provocative. Perhaps I have this opinion because I am secretly jealous that pre-teens are able to dress themselves better than my adult self. I think so.

On a lighter note, I went round my friend’s house the other day and was absolutely astounded by it. It was a typical Victorian looking terrace house from the outside but it was actually like the Tardis, I’m not joking! When I went in I was shocked by how many rooms there were and how large they were! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to cause offense because I love it - it was how I hope my house to look when I can afford one; wooden flooring with quirky ornaments and candles on shelves, with a homely and charming feel about the place. It was the type of house that had that one squeaky stair and that sneaky hole in the floor no one had got round to fixing yet, and yet it had so much character that it completely charmed me! A lonely difference I would have is floral wallpaper. Everywhere! I wish that I had creative interior designing skills – I could then manage, perhaps, to get round to changing my room into a young adults space! My mum did my room for me that I have at the moment – it’s blue on bottom, wavy white line and then purple on top. I do like it, but I feel that I have out grown it. Either that or I’m bored and fancy some patterns to brighten it up! I’d like some floral wallpaper ever so much...

Blogging really is something that is pointless – as my mum pointed out the other day whilst researching chickens for a lesson plan (she is training to be a primary school teacher) and found a blog absolutely devoted to the birds. But I really find it fun. I haven’t worked out the reasons for this yet – I’m not like my other friend, who treats her blog like an online diary where she writes her innermost feelings and secrets but won’t tell anyone the url. I just write about everyday, mundane things really! I mean, sexualised school girls, quirky Victorian houses, interior designing and a moan about my bedroom is hardly the most exciting read in the world is it? I just like the feeling of writing and not knowing if anyone else is reading or not – it’s an exciting thought that someone may actually be reading this! It’s like being a published, anonymous writer almost! I did get into fanfiction last year as an outlet for my writing but I think I prefer this. I left one of my stories half finished much to my awaiting followers disgrace I’m sure, but I have completely run dry of fun and light hearted ideas for a game of truth and dare... So this is my new writing thing! Helps me to acknowledge I can still write in full sentences for one – science steals this from me!

Anywho, better be off to do some light work. Nothing strenuous, don’t you worry!

BRH <3

Dear, John

I went to see the movie Dear, John yesterday. The music in it was beautiful but oh my lord, it was the most traumatic movie I have been put through for a long time. The first half of the film is one of those that makes you hate your boring life – it’s got the sex, it’s got the surfing, it’s got the helping autistic kids learn to horse ride. It’s got everything which equals a perfect life basically. However, the second half is just a massive rollercoaster of emotional turmoil. There’s heartbreak, shootings, strokes, deaths and it leaves you involuntarily crying for about an hour. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a film to make you lose faith in love – almost the opposite – but the second half did help me to slightly embrace and love the mundanity of my little life, and in that way I found it slightly inspirational.
I just dislike some films because they instil a certain hope for happiness and love in you when you are a child, which is completely fantasy, let’s face it. I’m sure that perfect situations do occur in many peoples lives – it just won’t be mine. I am not saying that my life is awful, it’s just not filled to the brim with sparkle and romance! I feel Marina and the Diamonds summed it up well with their lyrics:

“Hollywood infected your brain, you wanna kiss it in the rain”

Yeah, doesn’t happen. If only...

Dear John did, however, make my stomach turn at the thought of what’s to come. I leave for university and am leaving behind (well he’s also going to uni, but you get my drift) my long term boyfriend of a year and nine months. On one hand I don’t want to go to university with a boyfriend. I think that everyone wants the chance to put themselves out there on the dating scene when so many new people are thrust into your face. But I really do love him. I don’t want him to run off with some other girl and be happy and for me not to know what he’s up to or to snuggle up with him on his bed and fall asleep in the middle of the day as we do at the moment. Those little sneaked moments in the day are perfection. I am just scared for our relationship and whether it would actually work in a long distance scenario. I obviously shouldn’t base on other peoples’ but I know two other couples who did not last – this has not inspired hope for me.

I also would like a pen pal. I may get one of my friends to converse with me in this way rather than phone calls and facebook – I haven’t written an actual letter on actual paper in many years. It's all emails and texts these days isn't it? It'd be nice to go 'old school' I think! I may invest in some nice writing paper and a fountain pen... PAPERCHASE! I literally love that shop.

Anyway, to leave you now with a lovely thought. I do have a rather strange crush at the moment. Syeed from Eastenders? I know, I know. You think I’m very odd – you probably do not find him attractive and he also plays a GAY character on screen, but I think he’s really nommy! Teehee!




MUCHO LOVE!
BRH <3

Politics and University

I have been trying my hardest to get into politics recently, I really have. The general election is on 6th May 2010 and it is my first time being able to vote, having turned 18 last September! This should excite me, I know, but politics is such a drag! The live debate I attempted to watch didn’t absolve my attention as much as facebook. I am such an irresponsible adult. I think that I rather like the Lib Dems policies – my Dad is absolutely dead set against them (well, against all parties actually, the grumpy old man) because of their immigration system. I personally think this is put well and has the potential to resolve some issues with the proportion of immigrant’s living in certain areas. For example – Leicester is now apparently the first British city where a white, British citizen is in the minority. With work permits that do not allow immigrants to live there, it would mean that other predominately white areas of the country could get a boost in numbers (increasing the economy of the area perhaps) and also would retain, or at least not increase, the immigrant numbers where they are very common. It seems like a perfectly fair and understandable policy (also used in other countries and is proved to work!). Don’t take me for being racist by any means, I am going to Nottingham and study Pharmacy. I don’t think that doing either of these things you could have racist thoughts, do you? But anyway, at the moment I think that I shall vote Lib Dem. My only problem is that it feels like a slightly wasted vote, if my area is so Tory. I know, I know! If everyone thought like me then the Torys would never be torn from Basingstoke power and Lib Dems would never have a chance.

Hmph.

Oh, I decided on a University (as previously mentioned) – Nottingham as a firm choice and Portsmouth as an insurance. I’m not going to lie, I desperately am hoping that I get my grades as I didn’t like Portsmouth HALF as much as Nottingham! I chose Nottingham for so many reasons though. It’s one of the best for Pharmacy in the UK, AAB is a reachable grade target to aim for (I hope!), I can live on a beautiful campus where they can cater for me (no cooking for the first year, nomnom) and the course itself is massively prestigious! Even though it is ages away from home I feel that this isn’t such a bad point! Absolute independence here I come! Ok, so not absolute as I shall be ‘following’ my sister up there. I am worried from what a dick said once about me “always fucking copying her”. I feel that people may judge me for doing this. I mean, I went to all the same learning institutions, studying almost the same things as her and now going to Notts and studying a similar subject. Her life = better version of mine. I shouldn’t really say that. Oh well :\
Only problem is with the whole ‘AH uni is so close’ thing, is that exams are closer. AHHH. Revision hasn’t quite started yet. FML. Less than 6 weeks till my first exam. OK PANIC PANIC PANIC. So guess what I am up to today? Panicking and ‘revising’. It is a definate fact that I shall be blogging (probably about my stress and pure hatred for bio/chemi/anc history) more during exam time - got to love procrastination! Sigh. Immense dislike for the next couple of months of my life.


BRH
<3

Don't bring around a cloud to rain on my parade

Why is it that when one part of your life suddenly betters itself 1000 fold, the other half suddenly takes a dive? Why is it that I literally cannot look at some people because I don’t want to be involved with their sordid little lies at the moment. I don’t think that I can actually be around people who will piss on my parade at the moment – my life is actually really great at this point in time (yeah I know, makes a change!). I am madly in love with my boyfriend and I am looking forward to this summer more than possibly imaginable. Marmaris with the gals – ok, so this may have drawbacks if any of my friends decide they hate me/hate themselves/hate the place/generally moans and everyone wants to hit them in the face. I know it’s massively chavvy and we’re RIGHT in the centre of the hub too, but I just love travelling. The airport, the aeroplane, the apartment – the ADVENTURE! It’s just so inspiring visiting all these new places and looking at things in such a different way. Ok, so this time I go abroad it’s going to be a drunken mess with my friends where I shall not be culturally enlightened and probably have more of a chance to lounge around and get a tan, but you know what, I’m actually ok with this! I also have my ticket to Reading Festival 2010. Last year was rather swell but I predict this year to be even better to be honest. Lots more drinking, lots more dancing and because we’ve been there before I reckon we’ll be able to relax that little bit more!


So from this post you might think that I live for alcohol. The sad truth is that much of what I enjoy at the moment is, unfortunately, surrounded with a shroud of vodka. I live for my student nights. I am able to go out, without a care in the world, no one to shout at me, no one to give a shit and lose all inhibitions and just have a good time. When I say lose inhibitions, I don’t actually just throw my morals out the window. I have a boyfriend and obviously never have and never will cheat on him! I just enjoy that freedom, not having him with his arm around my waist and guys chatting to me. Sometimes just to reassure me that I’ve still got it, if all went tits up!


OH, I just reread my last entry. I did go to the gym and (I hate to say this), kind of loved it! Argh, me? Loving exercise? But I am now, not a regular, but definitely in the gym about... once a week maybe? Better than nothing I say


So, in conclusion:
The SUN is out!
My boyfriend and I are excellent!
I am extremely happy!
I am stoked for this summer!
And I do not have time for you to be pissing all over my mood!


BRH
<3