Dear, John

I went to see the movie Dear, John yesterday. The music in it was beautiful but oh my lord, it was the most traumatic movie I have been put through for a long time. The first half of the film is one of those that makes you hate your boring life – it’s got the sex, it’s got the surfing, it’s got the helping autistic kids learn to horse ride. It’s got everything which equals a perfect life basically. However, the second half is just a massive rollercoaster of emotional turmoil. There’s heartbreak, shootings, strokes, deaths and it leaves you involuntarily crying for about an hour. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a film to make you lose faith in love – almost the opposite – but the second half did help me to slightly embrace and love the mundanity of my little life, and in that way I found it slightly inspirational.
I just dislike some films because they instil a certain hope for happiness and love in you when you are a child, which is completely fantasy, let’s face it. I’m sure that perfect situations do occur in many peoples lives – it just won’t be mine. I am not saying that my life is awful, it’s just not filled to the brim with sparkle and romance! I feel Marina and the Diamonds summed it up well with their lyrics:

“Hollywood infected your brain, you wanna kiss it in the rain”

Yeah, doesn’t happen. If only...

Dear John did, however, make my stomach turn at the thought of what’s to come. I leave for university and am leaving behind (well he’s also going to uni, but you get my drift) my long term boyfriend of a year and nine months. On one hand I don’t want to go to university with a boyfriend. I think that everyone wants the chance to put themselves out there on the dating scene when so many new people are thrust into your face. But I really do love him. I don’t want him to run off with some other girl and be happy and for me not to know what he’s up to or to snuggle up with him on his bed and fall asleep in the middle of the day as we do at the moment. Those little sneaked moments in the day are perfection. I am just scared for our relationship and whether it would actually work in a long distance scenario. I obviously shouldn’t base on other peoples’ but I know two other couples who did not last – this has not inspired hope for me.

I also would like a pen pal. I may get one of my friends to converse with me in this way rather than phone calls and facebook – I haven’t written an actual letter on actual paper in many years. It's all emails and texts these days isn't it? It'd be nice to go 'old school' I think! I may invest in some nice writing paper and a fountain pen... PAPERCHASE! I literally love that shop.

Anyway, to leave you now with a lovely thought. I do have a rather strange crush at the moment. Syeed from Eastenders? I know, I know. You think I’m very odd – you probably do not find him attractive and he also plays a GAY character on screen, but I think he’s really nommy! Teehee!




MUCHO LOVE!
BRH <3