It's a shame you don't know what you're running from.

I have a big fat exam tomorrow. Ok, sure it is a retake, but an ACTUAL exam. I think that I have done hardly any revision for it – the odd hour here and there dedicated (I may be slightly under exaggerating) but who am I going to blame if I fail (yes, I did just type when and delete is as I do not want to tempt fate just yet). Well I shall tell you – not myself. I have this sneaky habit of finding useful and well placed scapegoats for such events, I just need to find one if I end up failing my life and going to Portsmouth University. Ok, there’s nothing wrong with Portsmouth but it’s no Nottingham right? It will probably end up being my boyfriend who has actually been more understanding about the less time together thing during exams than I expected! He is an unpredictable fellow at times and I was very worried about this time apart. To be frank, we both know it is pretty bad at this point in time – mostly because of me. As my mother nicely put it, we’re stale. I just haven’t yet worked out the trick of spicing things up yet, spicing MYSELF up. How is it that I am the same, if not more, energetic and bubbly person whilst around my friends and act like a zombie around the person that I love? It feels like a habit – something that I can’t actually see a way out of. I know I need to slap myself in the face and move forwards with something, anything. We’re in a rut and I need to man up, strap on a pair and DEAL with it – I just can’t seem to find those strap-on-able testicles through the shroud of darkness when I’m with him. How bad is that?

On a brighter note Ellie Goulding’s album is beautiful. It speaks to me more than many artists have before – Kelly Clarkson; Vanessa Carlton; Imogen Heap are examples of other indescribable artists that have just struck that chord in my soul. How cheesey does that sound, I know! But just give her a listen, she just makes sense. Her lyrics, her unique voice and her electro-like but soft, musical melodies are just… beyond words. Absolutely massive girl crush. Ellie, I take salute you.



I have had such an ingenious idea. If I got a formspring, but only put a link to it on here! Ok, I know I sound like I'm mad but I am intrigued as to how many people actually look at my blog. Ok, a stupid idea I know. You could just leave a comment expressing that you read it. So much easier! Ahh, I am a wasted mind.

BRH <3