Emotions should not exist.

Three blog entries in the last two days, that must tell you something at least about my utter frustration with life at the moment.
I cannot do this! I have revised and revised but I don’t feel like I could be anymore prepared now – like I have just accepted my failure because I definately am NOT prepared. I don’t want to fail! I want to write an eloquent and fluent essay on Athenian foreign policy between 431-404BC/the importance of Lysander in Spartan war effort, but I just can’t. It is beyond my abilities. I look back at things I have written before and admire them for their quality but I am literally just failing now. How do I get better in 3 days? It is impossible. I just want to burst into a flood of tears right now.
I want to go to Nottingham so bad.
I can’t do it.
I will let myself down, like usual, because of my lazy attitude and lack of knowledge.
Hate myself.

It doesn’t help that I feel completely disconnected from my friends. I do not have a best friend anymore, not since getting a boyfriend. My two friends whom I consider to be the closest don’t even offer to get me out my house these days, I just see on facebook that they have hung and out OH LOOK AT ALL THOSE PRIVATE JOKES. Oh, boy that makes me feel so good, please make sure NOT to invite me next time yeah? Woo.

I just feel so hopelessly enveloped in a deep, deep hole and I can’t seem to climb my way out.
Help.